If I Only Had No Heart

by Declan Kennedy

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06:13
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03:22
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03:46
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03:54
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03:42
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03:32
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about

For the past year, I’ve been working on writing and recording a series of songs that are more true to myself than anything I have written before. I’ve experienced a lot of personal growth, and I believe I have made great strides in unearthing my core, authentic self. With each song, I tried to capture a snapshot. While I do believe in the consistency of the core spirit of each person, I have come to realize that the human experience is composed of many discrete states of being — snapshots — that give clues to who a person truly is, but do not reveal a complete picture. This album is not a self portrait, but rather it is a few bits and pieces of my humanity. It is not an autobiographical documentary, but a scrapbook of polaroids. My goal with this album was to write purely for myself — to not censor myself for fear of what others may think. That being said, if you choose to listen to the album, I encourage you to have your own personal experience with it, just as I have had my own. For friends and family who know me closely, I encourage you to disconnect your perception of me from the album. I am sharing it with you so that you can have your own experience with it. To me, the album is one for listening with your headphones on in a quiet, dark room in the nighttime. But of course, you can listen to it any way you wish. It is your experience.

credits

released April 7, 2017

All songs written, performed, recorded, and mixed by Declan Kennedy.

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Declan Kennedy Nashville, Tennessee

experiences becoming art

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Track Name: The Shore
The letters, I don't write anymore
Your sweaters still cover my floor
And lately, I've been outside your door
No sleeping, no sight for the sore

Surround me in a room with no door
Seat me nailed to the floor
It's bedtime, and my empathy is poor
I'm swimming, I've lost sight of the shore

My heart hurts and I can't love anyone.
It's empty, and heavy, and I can't love anyone.

I will swim back to shore.
Track Name: I'll Let Go
The words that please you are the words I chose,
Keep the water calm under my twisting toes.
We're standing in a field now where nothing grows,
You pick a flower up, I call a daisy a rose, and

I can't stay all night, I'm sorry.
I can't lay all night, I'm sorry.

Yes I am awake, I think you know.
I won't drive tonight but I'll drift slow.
We're floating in an ocean now where sunlight shone,
It's cold under my shadow now but I'll let go, and

I can't stay all night, I'm sorry.
I can't lay all night, I'm sorry.

I think you know where this will go.
Track Name: I Won't Forget
Wondering why as we fall in and out of sleep,
Why would I be so naïve?
We pass the graves, you don't breathe,
Open eyes, but you speak in dreams.

A hammock for three, it seems, will just uproot the tree.
My memory is weak sometimes,
But let's make a bet;
I won't forget.

Rivers bend but I'll be back again.

Wondering why as we fall in and out of sleep,
Why did I believe this wouldn't get to me?
Track Name: Don't Let it Hurt You
Let's take a tour, love, of that famous art show.
They let you in for free tonight.
We'll sit on those stairs and stare into clouds of white.

Let's split up now, you go off and find your favorites.
I'll find mine and then we'll see,
At the end of our adventures, when perspective becomes better,
Tell me why you loved your favorites,
About all the ones you hated
And why they hurt you.

I woke up, love, in the middle of a nightmare.
I think too many things I'll never say.
But don't worry 'bout me, I'll walk home, I'll be okay.

You think it's funny, they way I throw my hair back,
I just smile, cuz I don't say too much.
But I'm not sure at this moment if my heart still tells the truth,
So if I leave you right this moment, I'll be off searching for that truth,
Don't let it hurt you.
Track Name: Poison Boy
Poison boy, you're all alone now
Grab your shirts, cut your ties,
Nowhere's home now

So fucking cry,
Write a fucking poem now,
Shake your knees, grind your teeth,
You better go now,

Before you poison everyone you thought you wished the best for,
You'll poison everyone you felt it in your chest for.

Poison boy, do you tell the truth now?
Just look around, what you've done,
Who you gonna use now?

You'll poison everyone you thought you wished the best for,
You'll poison everyone you felt it in your chest for.
Track Name: This Heart
Why you cried I'd close my eyes,
And when you smile I'll close my eyes again,
The greatest quake won't wake me up.

I don't deserve this heart,
And I wish I could go back to the start.

Find the eyes, vampire's; I must be blind again.
Day and night I've tried, seen through puddles to the sky,
Reflect just one way -- the sun into me.

I don't deserve this heart,
And I wish I could go back to the start.

I'm waking up.
Track Name: It's Still Me
I breathed in sync with you,
So I never inhaled your air.
And I shared a drink with you.
There were lipstick stains on the rim,
But my lips were bare.

Sometimes it seems I don't care,
I know sometimes I am scary,
But I swear, If you just come back near me,

It's still me, with a heart sweet like cherries.
Underneath my broken body language,
A heart that overflows with empathy.

I'll try to get a hold of where I'm going,
I'll try to learn how to share
My mind with the friends I am blind to,
When I see a million empty chairs,
But everyone's there.

Sometimes it seems I don't care,
I know sometimes I am scary,
But I swear, If you just come back near me,

It's still me, with my hands hid up my sleeves.
Underneath this baggy T-Shirt,
A soul that overflows with love and peace.

It's still me, even when I leave.
When I'm buried under bedsheets,
Stuck feeling half asleep,
It's still me.
Track Name: Let Me Know
Everything I say is getting faster now,
Everyone I see, I step away somehow,
And then it's over.

Listen when I say, don't believe my brain,
Lend me just a night, did I mean anything I said?

So let me know when it's over,
So I can go when it's over,
So I can go, didn't you know her before?

Every single day, brand new DNA.
The feeling of today, tomorrow thrown away and forgot.
Remember what I said, how it hurt so bad?
Thought I lost my head, or have I lost it now instead?

So let me know when it's over,
So I can go when it's over,
So I can go, didn't you know her before?
Hey didn't you know her before?
Track Name: Fragile
I looked in the mirror,
First time in a year,
So surprised by my design.

This face to advertise
a surely incongruous mind.
Use your ears and not your eyes,
The sound is right.

But with a heart more fragile than you think,
It's easy to go wrong.
With a heart so fragile, then you blink
And it's gone.

Gather all the fears,
And add up every tear,
But no, not yet, we haven't drowned

Detail your day for me,
Find the love I cannot see,
Hold me, won't you, help me breathe?

But with a heart more fragile than you think,
It's easy to go wrong.
With a heart so fragile, then you blink
And it's gone.

I went walking back towards my bed,
Until we stayed up late instead.
I went walking back towards my bed,
Until we danced outside instead.
I went walking back towards my bed,
Until we smiled and cried instead.
Track Name: Pretty Pictures
I was raised in a well rehearsed refrain,
Always wishing to refrain from making waves.
Now this boat, now it tows a lighter load,
Looked around and I'm alone,
Far off the coast.

But I've seen pictures from the past,
Lovely framed with busted glass,
Pretty pictures through the cracks.

Seize today before your color starts to fade,
Saturation yields to grey, your lover gone astray.
Look at me, tell me what love do you see?
Tell me what love can there be
If I'm living to appease?

But I've seen pictures from the past,
Lovely framed with busted glass,
Pretty pictures through the cracks.